The Dance Between Leading and Longing

There’s a tension I’ve lived with for as long as I can remember. A dance between leading and longing—between being the one who forges the path and the one who aches to be fully met within it.

For most of my life, I thought the answer was to lead harder. To be so undeniable in my depth, power, and presence that the right people would recognize it, step forward, and meet me there. And to a degree, it worked.

I became the invitation.

I became the catalyst.

I became the one people sought when they were ready to awaken, expand, and play at their edge.

But there was another truth beneath it all. One that I didn’t want to admit, even to myself.

I was longing—longing for a kind of meeting that I rarely experienced. Not admiration. Not reverence. But reciprocity. A meeting of equals.

There’s something that happens when you walk this path of radical self-ownership and mastery.

• You outgrow spaces faster than most.
• You attract those who look up to you, but fewer who can stand beside you.
• You become the one who goes first—the one who initiates, who holds the vision, who understands the deeper layers before others even see the surface.

And if you’re not careful, that becomes a role you don’t know how to step out of.

Because leading is powerful. It’s intoxicating. It makes you feel seen, valued, and necessary.

But what happens when your deepest desire isn’t to lead—it’s to be led, held, or matched?

What happens when you realize that, for all the strength you’ve cultivated, a part of you still longs for someone who doesn’t just admire your fire, but meets it with their own?

For so long, I thought my work was about going first, about showing others the way. And it still is.

But my real edge? Letting go of proving, striving, and over-functioning just to be met.

Because the truth is, I don’t have to earn what I crave.

I don’t have to initiate those who are meant to be my equals.

I don’t have to carry people to my level.

I just have to be in my fullness, without the compulsion to reach.

And those meant for me will rise—not because I pulled them, but because they chose themselves into this level of being.

This is where I stand now. No longer in the push, no longer in the proving. Just being.

And in this space, something profound is happening.

I’m watching who comes closer, who steps forward without needing me to reach for them.

I’m witnessing the difference between those who admire my fire and those who bring their own to the altar.

I’m learning, in real time, that leading and longing don’t have to be at odds—they can exist in harmony, when I trust that the right ones will meet me without force.

This is my dance now.

A new rhythm.

One where I lead because it’s who I am—but where I also allow myself to be led, be met, be held.

And for the first time, I’m seeing what happens when I stop reaching—and simply let the ones worthy of my light step forward.

Because I am the invitation.

And I no longer long.

I simply wait for the ones who are already walking toward me.

Does this dance sound familiar to you? I’d love to hear—do you find yourself playing at this edge, too? Hit REPLY and share your reflection with me. Let’s have this conversation together.

In sovereign invitation,
Sharon

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