The Shadow Work Trap (and What to Do Instead)

Personal growth has long been obsessed with the idea of shadow work—digging into your wounds, uncovering subconscious blocks, and constantly seeking out what’s “wrong” so it can be healed. It’s been positioned as the key to transformation, the path to unlocking your full potential. But what if I told you that the way most people approach shadow work is actually keeping them stuck?

What you focus on EXPANDS.

If you’re always looking for problems—whether it’s old traumas, limiting beliefs, or patterns to “clear”—you train your mind (and the universe) to keep finding more problems. You become someone who is always almost healed but never fully free. Your reality starts to mirror that, bringing you more obstacles, more things to fix, more evidence that you’re “not there yet.”

It’s a cycle that keeps you searching for healing instead of embodying wholeness.

This doesn’t mean ignoring your shadow. It means redefining your relationship with it—moving from shadow work to shadow play. Instead of treating your wounds like a never-ending project, you acknowledge them as part of your experience, but you don’t make them the centerpiece of your growth.

Real expansion happens when you shift your focus to WHO YOU ARE BECOMING.

Instead of asking: "What’s still wrong with me?" try asking:

• Who am I when I feel fully free?

• What version of me already lives the life I desire?

• Where is that energy already showing up in my reality?

I'll share a secret with you: You don’t have to “clear” everything before stepping into your next-level self. You can start living as them now.

A lot of people think manifestation is about asking for what you want and waiting for it to arrive. But the real magic happens when you train your mind to see the ways in which it’s already happening.

If you want to embody wealth, don’t obsess over the ways you lack money. Look for all the signs of abundance already in your life:

• The unexpected refund.

• The invitation to an exclusive event.

• The feeling of luxury when you sip your morning coffee.

• The fact that you have access to knowledge, opportunities, and people who expand you.

If you want to embody love, don’t focus on the ways you’ve been rejected. Look for the ways love is already present:

• The deep conversations with a close friend.

• The stranger who smiled at you in the grocery store.

• The way your pet curls up next to you, fully trusting your presence.

If you want to embody success, don’t dwell on what you haven’t accomplished. Instead:

• Acknowledge the people who seek your advice and expertise.

• Celebrate every win, no matter how small.

• Notice the moments where you feel in flow—those are the breadcrumbs of success already unfolding.

This is how you create momentum. Not by waiting to be “fully healed” but by choosing to recognize the version of you that is already living the life you desire.

Making this shift is simple, but not always easy—especially when you’ve spent years in the shadow work cycle. That’s why being surrounded by people who already live in this energy is crucial.

Having mentors who embody this level of awareness—who can help you see beyond the pattern of constant fixing—can accelerate your expansion exponentially. It’s not about someone else “fixing” you. It’s about being held in the frequency of someone who sees your power before you fully recognize it yourself.

I’ve walked this path. I know the pull of deep inner work, the addiction to uncovering more layers, the belief that if I can just “clear this one last thing,” I’ll finally arrive. And I also know what happens when you decide to stop waiting—when you step into your future self now and let the universe catch up.

If you’re ready to shift from healing to embodying… from searching to being… from looking for problems to witnessing your own power…

Then it’s time to play in the energy of your next-level life. It’s already here. You just have to start seeing it.

In sovereign embodiment,
Sharon

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