What It Means to be “Healed”
Over the weekend, a moderator of a spiritually-minded business group I belong to asked a question: “Who inspires you and why? How do you wish to inspire others?”
As I considered the question, I realized that there are so many individuals who inspire me that I couldn’t settle on just one, so I spent some time considering what these individuals all have in common...
I am inspired by people who defy social norms by living and speaking their truth with boldness and passion.
I want to inspire people by offering them a fresh way to think and feel, which transforms their beliefs about themselves.
I want to inspire people to love themselves because of their imperfect perfection rather than in spite of it.
I want people to know how it feels to be consciously aligned, and the rightness of centering their own joy and pleasure in all things.
I want people to know the feeling of aliveness when they finally understand that they are not broken at all. That they have everything they need to heal themselves within them already --
Just like I discovered for myself.
And my biggest desire of all...
I want people to know their own magic.
A few moments after posting my response, a had an unexpected insight:
I AM NOW ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE.
I live my naughty, kinky, sexy, relationship-rebel-lifestyle out loud and with utter joy.
I am a proud and vocal advocate of my too-often-marginalized alternative lifestyles community: LGBTQIA+, kink/BDSM, polyamory/swinging/open relating.
I can’t imagine living quietly anymore.
But my life wasn’t always like this. I wasn’t always like this. I used to allow myself to be controlled (and I controlled others) by my fear and insecurities.
My life used to be shaped by my wounds and past trauma.
At this point in my life, I consider myself healed --
-from childhood sexual molestation, incest, and abuse
-from being raised by a parent and a sibling with severe mental health challenges (which I recognize as their own trauma response)
-from date-rape and countless other body violations
-from shame
-from unhealthy boundaries
-from co-dependency
-from wounds of rejection and abandonment
-from the idea that I was unlovable
-from the story that I am not allowed to have non-happy emotions (sadness, disappointment, frustration, rage...)
I am feeling a sense of awe in my own resilience as I write this...
To be clear, being healed doesn't mean that I never have echoes of those old wounds.
What it means is that I live in complete trust that I have all the resources I need to respond to those moments if or when they ever resurface.
And by resources, I don’t mean that I tackle all of this stuff on my own. Part of the “everything” I describe includes knowing when I am tapped out internally, or when the path to healing is complex enough that I need outside support.
Wounds created in-relationship can only be healed in-relationship.
I’m sending this message out today to remind any of you who need to hear it that you don’t have (and aren’t meant) to walk your healing path alone.
That you have access to someone who knows the journey deeply. Someone who has gone through all the suffering and made all the exact right mistakes.
When you’re ready for a guide to take your hand and walk beside you as you discover your own magic, know that I am only an email, message, or phone call away.
In ecstatic wholeness,
Sharon Marie Scott
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